Q: What else have you done?
A: You did look around the main page, right? That's where you'll find links to buy my books, my websites, and *shudder* my social media pages.
Q: I don't have time for all that!
A: That's not a question.
Q: Fine. Uh, I don't have time for that?
A: Very well. I write books, mainly videogame related. I have a YouTube channel with my wife, where we make fun of weird games and occasionally livestream, called Dire & Bette. I run West Mansion, and I used to run other classic gaming fansites. I was even an "unofficial consultant" (re: I didn't get paid) for the 2010 Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 game Splatterhouse. Go look around the main page if you want more info.
On a side note, I've also contributed to several books by prominent videogame book authors Jeff Wittenhagen and Brett Weiss. I've also written about the Splatterhouse series for the (now defunct) website Strange Kids Club and the horror magazine HorrorHound, plus I used to write a column for the Digital Press fanzine, titled Matters of Import.
Q: You mentioned social media. Everyone uses it. You do too, so why did you start a website? No one visits those anymore unless they're part of a massive conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!
A: That's exactly why I started - or more accurately, re-started - Zero Signal. Twitter's a flaming cesspit, Facebook isn't much better, and Instagram is a pale shadow of what it once was. I wanted to get back to basics.
Q: Wait, "re-started"? This website isn't all new?
A: Nope. The original Zero Signal (then subtitled "An Online Journal) made its debut in 2000, and ran until 2005.
(banner by Patrick Morris)
Q: That was almost twenty years ago! Why would you bring it back now?
A: Didn't I just answer that?
Q: So why call this site Zero Signal?
A: I'm a huge Fear Factory fan. Their album Demanufacture is an old favorite of mine. When I started the site originally, I decided to name it after one of the songs from that album.
Q: Oh, it's a heavy metal thing. I don't like heavy metal. It's a bunch of Satanic garbage.
A: Get off my website.
Q: Kidding. Kidding!
A: You'd better be.
Q: Who else do you listen to?
A: I like a little bit of everything, but my go-to bands are Faith No More, Ghost, Type O Negative, Megadeth, Metallica (preferably classic, although some of their recent work is decent), God Lives Underwater, Alice in Chains, and Rush. Especially Rush, aka the greatest band to ever exist.
Q: How about movies? You like those?
A: I did briefly go to film school. What do you think?
Q: [obligatory favorite movies question]
A: Here's my top five, in order from five to one: Army of Darkness, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.
Q: Carageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?
Q: 3rd Qtr. Projection= Bad News
A: What is this? Did the quadratic formula explode? Well, until I can figure this out, here's my official bio.